Artwill plan to aquire Telstra

In a surprise move David A Sidwell, founder and sole trader of Artwill Services, today announced a bid for Telstra.
Mr Sidwell, speaking on the condition he be taken out of context, said “With News Corporation moving offshore and Telstra buying kaz, I feel the time is right to issue a press release”
“I am powerful and yet easy to use” he said, with a puzzled look on his face, adding “I hence offer 0.0000032 cents per share” Apparently this values Telstra at $1.24.
Analysts were too busy laughing, after Mr Sidwell pointed out that the first four letters of their titles was a rude word. A deeply ironic thing indeed.